Okay, so that viral report about the FBI ranking criminals by their zodiac signs? Straight up lies, my friends. But don't worry, I've got the inside scoop for ya.
Criminals come in all shapes and signs on that zodiac wheel. But there's something about certain traits that just scream "bad news." I'm talking about those sadistic tendencies around certain Earth signs, for example. The dark edge of our favorite Water and Fire Signs. And let me tell you, Air signs? They can talk their way out of anything, even a murder.
So, based on my love for neck-tattooed dudes, my astrology know-how, and my obsession with true crime and horror movies since I was just a kid, here's my list of the most dangerous zodiac signs, going from least to most. Brace yourselves!
12. LIBRA - The least dangerous zodiac on our list
Libra, the smooth operators ruled by Venus, the planet of love and beauty. These folks believe they deserve the finer things in life without breaking a sweat. With their charm turned up to the max and a minimal work ethic, they prefer to keep their hands clean and their feathers unruffled. Just look at the glamorous Libra legend, Doris Payne, the world's most famous jewel thief. She didn't spill a drop of blood or harm a single soul. Instead, she mastered the art of high-end larceny. In 2019, Payne spilled the tea in a tell-all book, revealing that the key to her successful heists wasn't just luck or confidence—it was her ability to make people forget. As she wrote, "If they could forget, then I could get that money." Talk about next-level cunning, amirite?
11. TAURUS
Now, Taurus. Now, this study might say otherwise, but in my personal experience, a Taurus would much rather enjoy some quality "me time" and have a chill beach picnic than bother with the whole murder thing. Don't get me wrong, they definitely have their fair share of anger, and they'll hold onto grudges like a field full of bulls holding onto their territory. But here's the thing—Tauruses are all about that wealth, honey. They'd rather be rolling in dough than seeking revenge. You see, Taurus rules the Second House of values and possessions, and when that energy takes a dark turn, you get ruthless greed and pure laziness. That's probably why the notorious Bernie Madoff, the Ponzi schemer himself, happened to be a Taurus. It's like the stars aligned for his shady financial shenanigans.
10. LEO
Alright, let's talk about Leo, the kings and queens of vanity. These fierce lions are all about their looks, and they'll do anything to keep themselves shining. But there's one Leo who took it to the extreme: Countess Elizabeth Báthory. This lady was on a whole new level of conceit. She was so afraid of losing her beauty that she started killing innocent girls and drinking their blood, thinking it would make her stay forever young. Yeah, it's totally messed up, but here's the crazy part: Some recent research suggests that Liz might have been onto something. Wild, right?
9. CANCER
Let's dive into Cancer. So, this sign is all about that moon power—compassion, intuition, and taking care of others. But here's the tea: when that energy goes to the dark side, we're talking about emotional manipulation and straight-up delusion (our favorite delulu queens, right after Pisces) when it comes to self-reflection. And guess who fits the bill? None other than Cancer evangelist Peter Popoff. This dude allegedly scammed a whole bunch of faithful followers, taking their money and dignity. He claimed to be a clairvoyant who could not only see their deepest secrets but also cure their medical conditions. Talk about false prophets, right? So, be on your guard, peeps. Don't trust those born in early July without checking their intentions first. Stay woke!
8. ARIES
The fiery and attention-grabbing Cardinal Fire sign. These peeps are all about being in the spotlight and being the first at everything. Now, let me introduce you to "Crazy Joe" Gallo, a mob man and alleged assassin who personified Aries energy. This guy was all about the show—rocking a pet lion, hanging out with celebrities, dropping deep philosophy quotes—and he even died in a snazzy pinstriped suit on his 43rd birthday. But here's the flip side: when Aries energy hits rock bottom, it becomes completely self-centered and randomly violent. According to his biographer, when an analyst suggested that Joey suffered from "pseudopsychopathic schizophrenia," he responded with a big "F--k you." He believed that things aren't about right or wrong anymore, just about being smart or stupid. He said, "You don't judge an act by its nature. You judge it by results. We're all criminals now... Things exist when I feel they should exist, okay? Me. I am the world." Talk about an Aries on a seriously bad day. That "I am the world" mindset and the dismissal of right and wrong? It's the epitome of Aries energy taken to the extreme. Still not the most dangerous zodiac sign but props for the dedication to your craft.
What’s the meaning of your Rising Sign? Check it out below:
7. SAGITTARIUS
These folks are ruled by the party-loving, adventurous planet Jupiter, and symbolized by the ever-aiming archer. They're all about expansion, optimism, and good luck. And who better to exemplify that than Pablo Escobar, the Colombian drug lord and notorious Sagittarius? This man, with his iconic mustache, built an insane narco empire, becoming one of the richest dudes on Forbes' list for seven straight years. But here's the dark side: as successful as he was, Escobar and his crew were responsible for the deaths of around 1,000 Colombian police officers. He turned his hometown, Medellín, into the murder capital of the world. Talk about Sagittarian ambition and delusional optimism, right? Oh, and Escobar didn't stop at drug lord status—he even set his sights on a political career. Sagittarians tend to live by their own unique moral code, which can sometimes be a bit skewed. Escobar was no exception. Yeah, he was problematic, but strangely beloved by his people. Some still see him as a folk hero. It's wild! Despite all the chaos, Escobar did some charity work too. He distributed food and blankets in the city slums, built houses, and sponsored medical procedures for the poor. But eventually, his luck ran out. The day after his 44th birthday, Colombian police and American DEA agents launched a coordinated attack, taking him down for good. And Just Like That, Poof! Lola's Gone.
6. CAPRICORN
Capricorn, the tenacious and strategic players who won't settle for anything less than first place, even in the world of crime. And who better to prove that point than the scrappy Capricorn himself, Al "Scarface" Capone, who Chicago officially deemed as Public Enemy No. 1? Capricorns, being Earth signs, have a strong attachment to their creature comforts, and not even being locked up could keep Capone away from his luxuries. These folks prefer stoicism over sentiment, and Capone's alleged orchestration of the St. Valentine's Day Massacre is a prime example. Instead of Cupid's arrows and sweet candy hearts, he traded in Tommy guns and left seven bodies in his wake, forever tarnishing the meaning of that lover's holiday. Capricorns, man, they really know how to leave their mark, even if it's in the darkest corners of history.
5. AQUARIUS
The rule-breakers and individualists ruled by the rebellious planet Uranus. These peeps are the true trailblazers of the zodiac. Check out Griselda Blanco, aka the "Queen of Cocaine," who shattered glass ceilings in the male-dominated drug trafficking industry. Seriously, her surname couldn't be more fitting. At the height of her game, she was smuggling a whopping ton and a half of cocaine into the US every single month. Talk about making a statement! Blanco was described as ruthless and ingenious, and those are some major Aquarius vibes right there. She didn't stop at breaking drug records, though—she conspired to kill not just one, but two of her husbands. And get this: she even planned to kidnap John F. Kennedy Jr. as a way to wiggle out of a murder sentence. I mean, you can't deny the audacity! Aquarians always find their own unique way to make their mark, even if it means breaking a few rules along the way. Girlboss, gaslight, gatekeep.
4. SCORPIO
This sign is ruled by the intense and dark vibes of death-daddy planet Pluto. And when it comes to the darker side of Scorpio, we're talking about paranoia, toxic sexuality, obsession, control issues, and the relentless pursuit of power. Just take a look at Charles Manson, the failed folk musician turned death dealer, and you'll see it all. Scorpios are masters of seduction, and they know how to use other people's talents to their advantage. That's how Manson was able to manipulate a whole crew of young women with their middle parts, getting them to do his twisted bidding while he lounged around in the desert, calling the shots at his not-so-imposing height of 5-foot-6. Short king, at his best. But wait, there's more. Chuck had an Aquarius Moon with messianic vibes, practically destined to be a cult leader. I mean, seriously, who else but someone with this Sun and Moon combo would regularly dose their followers with LSD, declare themselves as a Christ figure, and reenact the crucifixion? Scorpios take their dark side to a whole new level, and Manson is a chilling example of just how far they can go.
3. GEMINI- THIRD place in our MOST DANGEROUS ZODIAC SIGN list
The sign of duality represented by the twins. These peeps are known for their wild swings between hot and cold, but no one takes that to the extreme quite like Sada Abe, a full-on Gemini. This gal was a geisha, a prostitute, a convicted murderess — talk about a diverse resume! So, here's the deal: after a wild weekend of passionate sex, Sada Abe decides to take things to a whole new level. She ends up asphyxiating her married lover using her own belt. And get this, afterwards she sips on some beers, cuddles his lifeless body, and because Gemini is all about communication, she carves her name into his arm and writes a love note using his own blood. Talk about making a statement, right? But it doesn't stop there. Sada Abe takes it a step further and cuts off his, uh, private parts, keeping it as a little keepsake. You can't make this stuff up! When she was finally caught, she shocks everyone by feeling totally at ease, like a weight lifted off her shoulders, and claims she had newfound clarity. Leave it to an Air sign like Gemini to feel unburdened by murder, flash a smile for the cameras at the courthouse, and then spend their later years chilling out in a convent. I mean, this girl really knows how to show off her range. Gemini, you never cease to amaze us with your wild, dualistic ways.
2. VIRGO- SECOND place in our MOST DANGEROUS ZODIAC SIGN list
Number two of our most dangerous zodiac signs. The real deal. Trust me, these people are least likely to get caught in the act or leave any trace of a crime behind. Their attention to detail and perfectionist nature makes them the masters of cover-ups and crime scene cleanups. Plus, their adaptable vibe makes dealing with guilt and regret a walk in the park for them. They're all about keeping things on the down-low and taking their secrets and skeletons to the grave.
Virgo is an Earth sign that's all about efficiency and not wasting any time or resources. And speaking of resourcefulness, let's take a look at Ed Gein, the Midwest madman who really knew how to put his victims to good use. This dude made clothing, like a freakin' nipple belt, and some DIY home decor, including human-skin lampshades, all crafted them from his victims' remains. Reuse, reduce, recycle- Virgo edition.
Gein's messed-up habits even inspired iconic films like "Psycho," "Silence of the Lambs," and "Texas Chainsaw Massacre." And believe it or not, Blind Melon even paid homage to his twisted ways with their 1995 kazoo bop, "Skinned." Virgos, man, they take their dark side to a whole new level.
So, yeah, if you're looking for some serious danger, keep an eye out for those meticulous and resourceful Virgos. They'll leave you shook with their ability to keep things hush-hush and turn their victims into gruesome fashion statements. Slay!
1. PISCES- THE MOST DANGEROUS ZODIAC SIGN
Okay, listen up, because we're diving into Pisces, the sign that seems to have an alarming connection to infamous death-dealers. I'm talking about a lineup that includes John Wayne Gacy, Richard 'Double Pisces' Ramirez, Aileen Wuornos, Osama Bin Laden, the BTK Killer, Adolf Eichmann, and Ottis Toole. How does the most compassionate Water sign end up with such a high concentration of killers? It's a wild journey, my friends.
Pisces peeps are known for their escapist tendencies. When life gets tough, they escape into their own world of fantasy as a way to deal with their heightened sensitivity. But here's the thing—sometimes that escapism takes them way beyond reason and reality. Blame it on Neptune, the planet of dreams and delusions, which rules over Pisces. When Pisces energy goes dark, it becomes destructive, secretive, and seriously pessimistic.
These fishies are easily wounded, and that can lead to a spiral of despair and brewing resentments that morph into violent fantasies of revenge or domination. They're not exactly fans of confrontation and will do anything to avoid it. And when it comes to accountability, they're masters of resistance. It's these very traits that fuel their prolific killing careers.
So, buckle up, because Pisces can take you on a twisted ride of escapism gone wrong. With their penchant for delusions and their knack for avoiding responsibility, they're a force to be reckoned with in the dark realms of violence.
Alright, astrology can give us some cool insights into people's personalities. But here's the deal: not all Scorpios, Geminis, Pisces or Virgos are automatically sketchy. We gotta remember that everyone is unique, and we can't put them in boxes based on their zodiac signs, ya know? It's all about seeing each person as a whole complex individual. Quoting my favorite statistic, about 2 percent of the population fits the psychopath criteria, and guess what? It's a fact that men are way more likely to have those psychopathic traits than the ladies. So, here's the deal: out of a hundred people you know, there's a solid chance that one of them might be a psychopath. Mind-blowing, right? This just goes to show that you never know who might be hiding some crazy stuff. Keep your eyes peeled, my peeps! May the odds be ever in your favor.