On a Healing Journey

This New Year, I made only one resolution- to learn how to love myself fully.

This healing journey is not going to be easy; it never is. In the World where everybody is telling you to be good, and teaches you form the birth to bury everything that not socially in the side of the Light- we learn very fast how to despise ourselves. To bury those ugly, dark parts and never let them be seen ever again.

I always liked my darkness. I understood very early on that running from it is pointless, because you can’t our run yourself. However, I’m still catching myself on shaming and getting angry at the parts of myself that might not be socially pleasing or acceptable.

I am a true believer that a healthy body equals a healthy mind. I started to work out again, but not to punish myself for not eating well enough or because I think I’m lazy- I work out because it makes me feel powerful, and happy. I started to eat better, because I see a huge difference in how I feel when I do so. Finally, I am meditating again- trying to ground myself and find peace in the craziness of the World. I don’t feel bad when my mind runs crazy and can’t focus on just breathing- I am a creature born of Chaos- and so I don’t mind becoming it from time to time. It’s very freeing actually.

Recently I got this Rose Quartz Healing set from Conscious Items. I needed something to focus my intention on and well, we all know the power of crystals by now. I use this little bracelet as my praying beads when meditating. Each crystal ball is my one happy moment- one memory from my life filled up with love: falling asleep on a fresh cut grass on a summer day back home, biking with my Grandmother, the first time I hold my baby brother in my hands, fishing escapades with my Grandpa to our favorite spot, my mom’s reaction to a song I was preforming for her on a Mother’s Day, me swinging on my swing on our yard, calling my step-dad dad first time, my first walk on Time Square... I let myself merge in these memories and feel this love I felt back then, again. It works well with fighting anxiety during busy days very well. The bracelet has the Bodhi, The Tree of Life charm on it, too. I like to close my eyes and let myself remember that I’m a part of that tree. Rooted deeply in the Earth, strong, capable of withstanding every storm. It’s nice to be able to have it on me all day long.

The crystal, I use to amplify the power of my manifestation. I asked the crystal to help me with a certain task I want to accomplish this year. The pendulum was something that I was thinking about getting for years now. I can’t wait to work with it and let you know what I think about it!

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